Dying over Dyeing: Is It Worth the RISK?

I have decided to dye my own hair from now on. I'm hoping as I age (please tell no one I age) my hair will come in a fantastic baby fine cottony white. But in the meantime, upkeep is a bitch and a costly one at that. Having long blonde hair means cash money and my partner wants to play, but he doesn't like to pay. And my hair colorist bores me beyond belief. So with those thoughts processed, I bought some Loreal Super Light Ash Blonde BOX DYE!! Normally the word ASH makes me sick, even though I love fire and smoking. When I hear ASH I think of a pretender blonde. A streaky stripper blonde. A dirty dishwater blonde. And I want it to be clear, my locks are sunny and golden, not ashy and trashy. BUT, the sad fact is, is that I'm horrifically pink in shade. It's tragic the color I am. I'm ruddy and my eyebrows are bushy as fuck and inexplicably BLACK. I think they're my best feature, actually. So, a paler blonde is best and so I have to live with the fact that my hair is ASHY. I am a natural blonde, but instead of getting lighter with time, my hair is turning a mortifying shade of BROWN. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but having been blond my whole life you get used to a certain lifestyle. My whole identity is wrapped up in my hair, just like all humans. Everything about me is blonde, and I've gotten a lot of free shit along the way as a result. I don't want to fuck a good thing up. So after I dyed my hair with BOX DYE I washed it with MAGICAL PURPLE SHAMPOO. If you are blonde, immediately go to your local beeyoutee shop and ASK FOR MAGICAL PURPLE SHAMPOO. They will know what it's called, I can't remember and I'm a bit too lazy to look it up if I'm being frank. The purple does not make your hair purple, sadly. But it does strip it of all the orangey brassy tacky stripper looking color. If your hair is really over processed you can put the purple on dry hair and let it sit. I will dye at least part of my hair lilac when I find the proper dye. I like Manic Panic Cotton Candy Pink highlights and tips for now. Having inappropriately colored hair is fun and distracts people from the notion that I MIGHT be over forty. So, what have we learned. Not one goddamned thing except that I am a vapid, vapid woman. ALSO, MAGICAL PURPLE SHAMPOO IS A BLONDE'S BEST PAL. And if you take your time and do some research, it's not the end of the world if you dye your own hair. Then you will have extra cash for coffee and hash cookies.